The first marriage: Adam and Eve

The story of Adam and Eve has become one of my favorite stories ever since I really studied it and realized what their story tells us about marriage. Adam and Eve tells us so much about not only marriage but about who we are as male and female. They explain some of the things we struggle with! I'm going to take the story of Adam and Eve and kind of dissect it bit by bit. I'm putting the whole reading in here in case anyone hasn't read this part. Enjoy!

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Genesis 2:15-3:13

New International Version (NIV)

 ¹⁵ The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. ¹⁶ And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; ¹⁷ but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

 ¹⁸ The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

 ¹⁹ Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

   But for Adam^[a] no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs^[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. ²² Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib^[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

 ²³ The man said,

   “This is now bone of my bones
   and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
   for she was taken out of man.”

 ²⁴ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

 ²⁵ Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Genesis 3

The Fall

 ¹ Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

 ² The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, ³ but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

 ⁴ “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. ⁵ “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

 ⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

 ⁸ Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”

 ¹⁰ He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

 ¹¹ And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

 ¹² The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

 ¹³ Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

   The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

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¹⁸ The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

 ¹⁹ Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

   But for Adam^[a] no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs^[b] and then closed up the place with flesh.

This part blows me away as a woman. God searched then entire Earth and out of everything he had already made, didn't find  one suitable contender to be Adam's mate and helper.  Let that sink in... Not one creature was suitable to live life by Adam's side.

Women, this should tell you how special we are to God. He searched the entire Earth and wasn't satisfied with anything already made. He wanted to make us special, from scratch, we are custom made! We are made in the likeness of God and the likeness of Adam (our husbands) Eve is the only creature on Earth that wasn't made from the ground. She was made from a living, breathing, being. A being also made in God's image.

Men, this should tell you how special you are and how special women should be to you. If God searches the entire world and has to custom make something to  fit with you, YOU ARE SPECIAL! God thinks so highly of you, as man, that he was not okay to just pair you with any creature walking the Earth. He custom made a beauty to fit into his plan for you and to experience this life with you. That being said, Eve (your wife) deserves you to be above reproach in your treatment of women. This includes female friend, girlfriends, mothers, sisters, and someday your wife. Think of how important Eve was and about the fact that God searched all of creation to find a suitable helper for you, man, and treating women with respect will come naturally.

^x22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib^[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

 ²³ The man said,

   “This is now bone of my bones
   and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
   for she was taken out of man.”

 ²⁴ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

 ²⁵ Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

MEN, Adam provides a wonderful example here of how to view women. She is part of him. Bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh. Adam sees his wife literally as a part of him. That is how is supposed to be. Adam would never call his wife names, abuse her, hit her, degrade her, or disrespect her because he would be doing those things to himself! 

Women, take what Adam says and let it sink it. The man you marry should see you like this. Will he have bad moments? Yes. He will be human. But a man of God who seeks out a wife to be his partner in life respects her in this way. We will get to how men fail later, but overall, this is how it's supposed to feel! In Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge they put it this way "the whole vast world was incomplete without me. Creation reached it's finishing touch in me."

Part two of this section is also very important. Adam and his wife were both naked. Yes, naked! We don't live in nudist colonies anymore (well some people do but that's a whole different issue) and we'll get to why later on but Adam and Eve were stark naked with each other. The first time they met! Here's my favorite part. They felt no shame! There was no embarrassment, no hiding, no covering up. They were man and wife, God blessed them with the feeling of being free with each other. Eve wasn't worried about if she looked a little bloated that day and Adam wasn't worried about not having a 6 pack. These are concerns the world has given us. God gives us the gift to freely bask in each others glory as a married couple. 

The Fall- Genesis 3

 ¹ Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

 ² The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, ³ but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

 ⁴ “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. ⁵ “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 

 This is a key part in our story. The first failure, the first sin, the first betrayal. Don't we feel those things in marraige sometimes? Here's why. Yep. Right here in the first book of the bible. There's so much to look at... 

First, the devil lies. He lies to the woman. 

Second, the devil manipulates her. 

Third, he tempts her. 

Satan tells Eve that not only will she not die but her eyes will be opened. She will be like God. That's huge. He tells her that she can be all knowing and all powerful just by eating the fruit. It seems hard to believe doesnt it? Like if we would have been there we could've said no? But isn't this what happens daily? Not with fruit but with worldly things? Especially in marriage! "Just buy that thing without telling your spouse. One new purse won't hurt. Yeah, you've agreed not to spend money on things you dont need, but go ahead." or "Go talk to that woman over there, she seems nice. Oh yeah go ahead and hang out with her outside of work too, nothing will happen." or "Just watch the porn one more time, who's it hurting?" These are just a few of the many modern lies that the devil tells us. And doesn't the devil convince us that we will feel so much more powerful afterwards?..... 

 ⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Now, here is where it really gets good. This is where Adam and Eve fail God but also fail each other. We find out here that Adam has been with Eve the whole time. The whole time the devil was tempting her Adam was just standing there. Here is man's first sin. He fails his wife. He fails to protect her. He lets Satan touch her, and watches her sin. This is where mans deepest fear comes from. The fear of failing. It was his first sin. God gave him a beauiful woman to love and protect and he let her get hurt. He was passive. Adam stood passively while his wife fell into sin with the devil.

Men, do not be passive husbands. It is not natural. Your natural instinct to fight for something and be protective is there because God gave it to you! Use it! Not for violence and domination, but for love and protection. Be careful with your God given strength (pyhsical and emotional), it can be hurtful, but it is meant for so much good. 

Women's first sin is to fall. She brings her husband down with her. She gave him the fruit and he ate it. This speaks volumes ladies. Let's be upstanding women of God. Let's help our brothers in Christ not to fall. In marriage, let your man be a man. A womans worldy independence can hinder her husband God given desires to protect and provide. In dating, be modest. Do not tempt a brother in Christ into sin. This really just involves paying attention. My husband told me that I could have worn a paper bag when we were dating and he would have thought I was beautiful and would have wanted to have sex. The desire men have for sex is God given, it's a beautiful thing to have in marriage and God designed our deisres to fit together beautifully. But Satan can, and does, take this beautiful God-given desire and use to make men fall into sin. Modesty can make such a difference in a relationship. Trust me, a Godly man will appreciate the help!  

They realized they were naked...
Before sin their nakedness was beautiful and pure. After sin both Adam and Eve were embarrassed in front of each other and felt the need to hide, to cover up. How sad! The metaphor here is that Satan makes us feel the need to coverup emotionally from our spouse and not be emotionally naked with them. That separates us from each other. Exactly what Satan wants! God's design is for us to be so connected, so emotionally naked with each other to a point where there is no shame. 

Women, did you ever wonder why you can't shake that feeling of insecurity? (Some women do not struggle with this but most of us at some point or another do.) It stems from Eve. She is the first to fall, she brings her husband down with her, this is all her fault. At least that's what the Devil tells us. That deep seeded insecurity comes from the first sin. As women we are so scared, that we won't be good enough, the we will mess up, that we fall into perfectionism. (Ever wonder where eating disorders came from?) Satan fuels our fear and instills a desire to be perfect. But GOD, gives us a son that takes that and dies on a cross for it so that we can feel free. God gives us men that have a desire to fight for something, to protect something. He designs our hearts to fit together. 

 ⁸ Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”

 ¹⁰ He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

 ¹¹ And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

 ¹² The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

 ¹³ Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

   The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” 

GOD COMES FOR US! Even when we sin, when we fail in our marriage, God is right there. Not only is he there, he is seeking us. God comes from Adam and Eve and calls out to them! He knows what they have done and he comes anyways. 

There is a crucial part to our story in these verses. When God confronts Adam (he confronts Adam first for he is the spiritual leader for his marriage and responsible for protecting Eve) Adam first blames God, then his wife. Blaming God is what we all do and Adam does it too. He blames God for putting the woman with him, if she wansn't here I'd be fine. (The devil has succeeded in separating Adam from Eve.)  He then blames Eve. She gave him the fruit. He doesn't mention that he could've said no. He just blames her. Satan makes us blame each other in marriage. God's design is for us to be one, Satan wants the opposite of that, he wants divorce. He wedges between us and pins against each other. Leaves us fighting, fending for ourselves. Man's biggest fear of failure is explained again as Adam fails his wife. He throws her under the bus basically, leaves her to fend for herself. 

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God loves marriage and wants it to be beautiful!

Satan hates marriage and wants us to fail and be miserable.

This is the pull every married couple feels. Its spiritual warfare waging in their relationship. The thing most couples dont realize is that God is on our side. As soon as we realized and accept that and start seeking his way and fighting WITH him, not against him, Satan cannot win. It's a neverending battle to be married but understanding what God wants for us makes every day worth fighting for.