My thoughts on marriage tonight keep coming back to the struggle for who you number one priority should be. The world tells us it should be our spouse. That that person is the most important person in our lives. Again, the world is wrong.
GOD should be number one in our lives. Yes, your spouse should be second after God, but God and only God should take first place.
There are so many times in life where I find myself feeling disappointed and unhappy in my marriage. Mostly little moments here and there where I just feel like something is not being fulfilled.
EVERY time that happens I find that my priorities are all wrong. 95% of the time Anthony disappointing me, isn't because he is failing, but because I am placing him in a spot in my heart where he cannot win. When I realize what is happening I have to remove myself from the situation for a moment and re-prioritize. I have to pray for God to fill my heart in a way that my husband cannot do.
God made our hearts to need him. We crave God without even knowing it. When we place our spouses in that spot disappointment is guaranteed to follow.
Putting God first in your heart, soul, and life only enriches every aspect of your life. I have found that when I am loving God well, I love my husband well. Likewise when I am failing in my relationship with God, my relationship with my husband starts to feel strain. Having God first in my life and relying on him first and foremost for my confidence, security, and balance allows me to love my husband in a Godly way and to love him better. I am able to give so much more of myself to my husband physically, mentally, and emotionally when I am in the right place with God.
Women, God should be your rock. This doesn't mean that your husband can't be your rock also but don't expect your husband to be a fix-all. If you rely on your husband to completely fulfill you emotionally and spiritually you will be very disappointed. God wants to be our number one guy. He never fails us because he is not human, he's God. Rely on him first and you will be amazed at how much more pleased you are with your husband. Our husbands are great but they can't do the impossible. Don't set them up for failure.
Men, God should be your go-to. This doesn't mean that your wife shouldn't give you support but don't expect your wife to make you feel like a success for a man. She will fail you, I promise. God however, will never fail you. Relying on God to give you peace of mind, security, confidence, and the faith that you did a good job, made the right choice, or led your family the right direction will give you so much more joy than expecting your wife to make you feel whole. Don't set your wife up for failure. It leads to resentment.
Our spouses are meant to be a complement to our relationships with God, not a replacement. In a marriage we should seek individual growth in our relationship with Him and growth as a couple. Being united under God is the most important aspect of making a marriage work.
Parents. I am not a parent yet but I do understand something about being a christian parent. I was blessed to be raised with this concept. Children are a third priority. I know this is difficult sometimes. I can't even imagine how much I will love my children. I just know that I will always love my husband more. This sounds mean to some people but think about it. God intended for "man and wife to become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24, and multiple other places in the bible) but a "man will leave his father and mother" (Genesis 2:24, and multiple other places in the bible). God intends for our children to one day leave us. If you place you children above your spouse what will happen when that day comes? God intended for husbands and wives to be together FOREVER. Forever, a word that seems so lost to our current world. I was so blessed to be raised in a home where I had a father who was a Godly man and made it clear that we were his children and he loved us but that our mother was more importantly his wife. I am blessed to have watched both children move out of the home and my parents continue to grow more in love with each other as the years go on. Children are such a blessing but marriage is the greatest gift of all. Be careful not to let the kids come between the man and wife. Teach them how important marriage and unity are. They'll thank you one day.
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